by Irina Rosinskaya

This is specific to children living in orphanages and eventually getting adopted. It is a different tale but the notion of an early trauma effecting the hormone balance in the body of a child is very real. This look at the origin can explain why so many humans do not know how to self-sooth. They have this emptiness inside them that they attempt to fill periodically, temporeraly to give them peace. Then the very act of finding becomes the secondary trauma again effecting the hopes for a soothing life.

Some find healing through organic psychotherapy, others through spirit and fellowship but it has not been proved that "outside" the person i.e. relationships, family, job or creativity can become the glue to heal this hole. It comes down to being an inside job with a dedication to a higher order of attachment supported by empathy, compassion and support.

Even those fortunate to have a strong attachment from birth (rare, indeed) have to suffer the emptiness at times but they recover more rapidly and without the use of external numbing. Studies of children from large orphanages show hormonal differences.

By Thomas H. Maugh II, LA Times Staff Writer. November 28, 2005

Children adopted from abroad often have difficulties adjusting to their new families and to life in this country, exhibiting poor social skills, problems bonding with new family members and reticence in dealing with strangers. Those difficulties are generally traced back to emotional deprivation in large orphanages, where infants often outnumber staff by 40 to 1, and caregivers do little more than feed and change the infants.

Now Wisconsin researchers have found that such deprivation can produce relatively permanent changes in a child's brain chemistry, impairing production of hormones, such as oxytocin, that are crucial to bonding and social interaction. "This work makes a link between complex emotional behaviors and the developing brain," said lead author Seth D. Pollak, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin.

But, he said, "It's extremely important that people don't think that this work implies that these children are somehow permanently delayed." Pollak and his colleagues reported their findings last week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Many children adopted from abroad grow up to be perfectly normal, he noted. "All we are saying is that in the case of some social problems, here is a window into understanding the biological basis and how we might design treatments," Pollak said. Oxytocin, sometimes known as "the peptide of love," plays a crucial role in many social situations. Studies in animals have shown that increased levels are stimulated by pleasing sensory experiences, such as comforting touches and smells. As levels rise, animals and presumably humans form social bonds, display parent-child attachments and form memories of the experiences.

Another recent study in humans showed that spraying oxytocin into the nose can increase trust among strangers. Children raised in orphanages where they don't receive contact with adults beyond the bare necessities aren't able to produce the hormone in such situations, interfering with their ability to develop normally, Pollak said.

The findings are important because about 200,000 children adopted abroad are now living in the United States and an additional 20,000 are brought in each year, a third of them from Eastern Europe. A key to the studies was a technique developed by University of Wisconsin endocrinologist Toni Ziegler to measure levels of oxytocin and vasopressin in urine and correlate them to levels in the brain. For the new study, researchers led by doctoral student Alison Wismer Fries in Pollak's lab studied 18 children who had spent, on average, the first 18 months of their lives in orphanages in Romania and Russia before being adopted into upper- middle-class U.S. families. They compared them with 21 children born into similar families.

Their primary tool was a 30-minute video game that promoted interaction between the child and the mother or another adult woman. With the child sitting on the adult's lap, the computer would give commands to promote interactions, such as whispering or tickling each other or patting heads. The researchers measured hormone levels before and after the session. The children who had not been adopted showed a distinct increase in oxytocin levels while playing with their mothers, but not while playing with the strangers. The adopted children did not show an increase in either case, indicating that they did not respond normally to a bonding experience even though they had been with their U.S. families for an average of nearly three years.

The adopted children had significantly lower overall levels of vasopressin, but the levels did not change in either group when they played the game.

IN RUSSIAN: 127 090 ðîññèéñêèõ äåòåé èç ãîäà â ãîä æèâóò â äåòñêèõ äîìàõ è äîìàõ ðåáåíêà, îñòàâëåííûå òàì ñâîèìè ìàòåðÿìè. 6 926 èç íèõ åæåãîäíî óñûíîâëÿåòñÿ çà ðóáåæ ëþäüìè, êîòîðûõ â íåäàâíåì ïðîøëîì ìû ñ÷èòàëè ñâîèìè èäåîëîãè÷åñêèìè âðàãàìè.

Êòî ýòè ëþäè è ÷òî èìè äâèæåò? Êàê æèâåòñÿ íàøèì ìàëåíüêèì ñîîòå÷åñòâåííèêàì íà äðóãîé ñòîðîíå çåìíîãî øàðà? ×òî çíàþò îíè î ñâîåé íàñòîÿùåé ðîäèíå?

Ýòè è äðóãèå âîïðîñû áåñïîêîèëè ìåíÿ, êîãäà â ñîñòàâå äåëåãàöèè èç Åêàòåðèíáóðãà, ÿ îòïðàâèëàñü â Ñîåäèíåííûå Øòàòû Àìåðèêè ïîçíàêîìèòüñÿ ñ óñëîâèÿìè, â êîòîðûõ æèâóò íàøè äåòè è ïðàâèëàìè óñûíîâëåíèÿ, óñòàíîâëåííûìè â Àìåðèêå.
Èñòîðèÿ âîïðîñà.
Êóëüòóðà óñûíîâëåíèÿ â ÑØÀ èìååò äàâíþþ èñòîðèþ. Åé èñïîëíèëîñü óæå ñòî ëåò. Ñòî ëåò íàçàä áåñïðèçîðíèêîâ ñî âñåé Àìåðèêè ñîáðàëè â îäèí ïîåçä è îòïðàâèëè ÷åðåç âñþ ñòðàíó. Èäåÿ áûëà ïðîñòà. Ïîåçä îñòàíàâëèâàëñÿ íà ìàëåíüêèõ ñòàíöèÿõ, ê íåìó ïîäõîäèëè ôåðìåðû, è çàáèðàëè äåòåé â ñâîè ñåìüè. Õîçÿéñòâî ïîçâîëÿëî ïðîêîðìèòü ïðèåìûøà, à ëèøíèå ðàáî÷èå ðóêè áûëè î÷åíü äàæå êñòàòè. Ñåãîäíÿ ìíîãîå èçìåíèëîñü. Óñëîæíèëàñü íå òîëüêî ïðîöåäóðà óñûíîâëåíèÿ, çàìåòíî ðàñøèëàñü è ãåîãðàôèÿ. Êðîìå ñâîèõ àìåðèêàíñêèõ ñèðîò, êîòîðûå, êàê íè ïîêàæåòñÿ íàì ýòî ñòðàííûì, òîæå åñòü, ñîâðåìåííûå àìåðèêàíöû óñûíîâëÿþò äåòåé ñî âñåãî ìèðà. Âüåòíàì, Ãâàòåìàëà, Êèòàé, Êàìáîäæèÿ, Ýêâàäîð, Èíäèÿ, Ðóìûíèÿ, è ñ 1991 ãîäà Êàçàõñòàí, Óêðàèíà è Ðîññèÿ – ýòî äàëåêî íå ïîëíàÿ ãåîãðàôèÿ äåÿòåëüíîñòè àìåðèêàíñêèõ àãåíòñòâ ïî óñûíîâëåíèþ. Ñåãîäíÿ äëÿ ëþäåé, ðåøèâøèõ ñòàòü ðîäèòåëÿìè ñ ïîìîùüþ ïðîöåäóðû óñûíîâëåíèÿ, âñå ìåíüøå èìååò çíà÷åíèå öâåò êîæè è ñòðàíà ïðîèñõîæäåíèÿ ðåáåíêà. Áåëûå ìàìà è ïàïà ñ ÷åðíûì ìàëûøîì – ýòî íå ýêçîòèêà. ×åðíûé ïàïà ñ æåëòûì ðåáåíêîì âûãëÿäåë äëÿ íàñ ãîðàçäî óäèâèòåëüíåå. Íèêòî íå ñêðûâàåò ôàêò óñûíîâëåíèÿ íè îò äåòåé, íè îò ñîñåäåé, íè îò ðîäñòâåííèêîâ. Ñåãîäíÿ â Àìåðèêå óñûíîâèòü ðåáåíêà òàê æå íîðìàëüíî, êàê è ðîäèòü. Ýòî íå ãåðîèçì è íå ñàìîïîæåðòâîâàíèå. Ýòî íîðìà. Ìåñÿö îêòÿáðü îáúÿâëåí â ñòðàíå ìåñÿöåì óñûíîâèòåëåé.  ýòî âðåìÿ òåëåâèäåíèå, ðàäèî è ãàçåòû ðàçìåùàþò ìàòåðèàëû ïîñâÿùåííûå òåìå óñûíîâëåíèÿ. Ïðîâîäÿòñÿ êîíôåðåíöèè, ñåìèíàðû, ñèìïîçèóìû, íà êîòîðûõ îáñóæäàþòñÿ ïðîáëåìû óñûíîâëåíèÿ.  îáùåì, âîïðîñ ýòî íàöèîíàëüíûé è ïîäõîä ê íåìó ñîîòâåòñòâóþùèé, ò.å. ñåðüåçíûé.
ß î÷åíü ÷àñòî ëîâèëà ñåáÿ íà òîì, ÷òî ñìîòðþ íà ýòèõ óäèâèòåëüíûõ ëþäåé, êîòîðûå ëþáÿò (ýòî ÷óâñòâî ñèÿåò îñîáûì ñâåòîì, è ôàëüøü ñðàçó âèäíà, ïîýòîìó ìîãó ñêàçàòü òî÷íî ËÞÁßÒ, âèäíî!) «÷óæèõ» (ýòî èç íàøåé ìåíòàëüíîñòè) äåòåé, êàê íà æèâûõ ãåðîåâ. Ó êàæäîãî åñòü â æèçíè ìåñòî ïîäâèãó, è âîò îíè åãî, ò.å. ïîäâèã, ñîâåðøèëè. ß âîñõèùàþñü! À îíè ìíå â îòâåò: «Äà, ÷òî âû! Ýòî ìû äëÿ ñåáÿ ñäåëàëè! Ñïàñèáî, ÷òî åñòü òàêàÿ âîçìîæíîñòü». Äðóãèå: «Ñïàñèáî ìàìå áèîëîãè÷åñêîé, âåäü ìîãëà àáîðò ñäåëàòü, à îíà îòíåñëàñü ñ óâàæåíèåì ê îòäåëüíîé æèçíè, è òåïåðü ñòîëüêî ðàäîñòè íàì è íàøåé äî÷åíüêå Íàòàëüå». Åùå: «Íå íóæíî îñóæäàòü ìàòåðåé, êîòîðûå îñòàâëÿþò äåòåé, ó íèõ åñòü íà ýòî ïðè÷èíû…»; «Ìû õîòèì íàéòè Çèíèíó áèîëîãè÷åñêóþ ìàòü, ÷òîáû ïîçíàêîìèòü ñ íåé äåâî÷êó»; «Â ïðîøëîì ãîäó, ÿ âîçèë äåâî÷åê (9 è 11 ëåò) â Àðòåìîâñêèé. Ìû ïîáûâàëè â äåòñêîì äîìå, ÿ ïîêàçàë èì ðîääîì, â êîòîðîì îíè ðîäèëèñü, ìû èñêàëè áèîëîãè÷åñêèõ ðîäèòåëåé, íî, ê ñîæàëåíèþ, íå íàøëè" è ò.ä. è ò.ï. È íå ïîíÿòíî, êòî èç íàñ èíîïëàíåòÿíèí…

Ïðîöåäóðà óñûíîâëåíèÿ.
 îòëè÷èå îò ðîññèéñêîé, àìåðèêàíñêàÿ ïðîöåäóðà óñûíîâëåíèÿ ìîæåò ïîêàçàòüñÿ î÷åíü ñëîæíîé. È äîðîãîé.  ñðåäíåì, ñåìüå ðåøèâøåéñÿ íà óñûíîâëåíèå, ýòî óäîâîëüñòâèå îáõîäèòñÿ îêîëî $25 000. Èíîãäà ÷óòü áîëüøå, èíîãäà ÷óòü ìåíüøå. Äåíüãè íå ìàëûå äàæå ïî àìåðèêàíñêèì ìåðêàì. Ìíîãèì ïîìîãàþò ðîäèòåëè, íåêîòîðûå ñïåöèàëüíî îòêëàäûâàþò íà ýòîò ñëó÷àé. Òàê èëè èíà÷å, óäîâîëüñòâèå ýòî íå èç äåøåâûõ. Äåíüãè ýòè èäóò íà óñëóãè þðèñòîâ â îôîðìëåíèè äîêóìåíòîâ è ñîïðîâîæäåíèè ïðîöåññà óñûíîâëåíèÿ, íà ïîåçäêè â ñòðàíó (èõ îáû÷íî äâå, íî èíîãäà áûâàåò è òðè), íà îïëàòó óñëóã ñîöèàëüíûõ ðàáîòíèêîâ è, íàêîíåö, íà ãóìàíèòàðíóþ ïîìîùü. Êàæäîå àãåíòñòâî èìååò ñâîé áëàãîòâîðèòåëüíûé ôîíä. Èç ñðåäñòâ áëàãîòâîðèòåëüíûõ ôîíäîâ èäåò ïîìîùü è íàøèì ðîññèéñêèì äîìàì ðåáåíêà. Íà ýòè äåíüãè ñòðîÿòñÿ äåòñêèå ïëîùàäêè, ïîêóïàåòñÿ îäåæäà è èãðóøêè, ðåìîíòèðóþòñÿ êðûøè è òðóáû è ìíîãîå, ìíîãîå äðóãîå.  êà÷åñòâå îò÷åòîâ – ïðèçíàþòñÿ ôîòîãðàôèè, íà êîòîðûõ äîëæåí áûòü çàïå÷àòëåí ìîìåíò ïåðåäà÷è èãðóøåê, îäåæäû è ïð. äåòÿì, èëè òðóáà äî è ïîñëå ðåìîíòà. Êðûøà – òî æå ñàìîå.
×òî êàñàåòñÿ ïðîöåññà óñûíîâëåíèÿ, òî îí äîëãèé. Îêîëî ãîäà. Ñíà÷àëà ñåìüÿ, ðåøèâøàÿ óñûíîâèòü ðåáåíêà, îáðàùàåòñÿ â àãåíòñòâî ñ çàÿâëååíèåì îá óñûíîâëåíèè. Ïåðâûé ýòàï – îáñëåäîâàíèå «æèëèùíûõ óñëîâèé». Òàê çâó÷àëî áû ïî-ðóññêè. Òàì ýòî íàçûâàåòñÿ home study è â íåãî âõîäèò íå òîëüêî îáñëåäîâàíèå æèëèùíûõ óñëîâèé, íî è ìåäèöèíñêèå ñïðàâêè è èñòîðèè áîëåçíåé íà âñåõ ÷ëåíîâ ñåìüè è ëþäåé, ïðîæèâàþùèõ â äîìå; êðèìèíàëüíûå èñòîðèè, åñëè îíè áûëè äîëæíû áûòü îïèñàíû; ñïðàâêè î äîõîäàõ; ñòåíîãðàììû áåñåä ñ ñîöèàëüíûì ðàáîòíèêîì íà ïðåäìåò äàëüíåéøèõ íàìåðåíèé; áóäåò ëè ìàìà ïðîäîëæàòü ðàáîòó èëè âñå âðåìÿ ïîñâÿòèò îáùåíèþ ñ ðåáåíêîì, êàêîâû âàøè ìåòîäû âîñïèòàíèÿ; ÷òî âû áóäåòå äåëàòü, åñëè … è ò.ä. è ò.ä. Home study – ýòî ïåðâîå ñèòî, ÷åðåç êîòîðîå ïðîõîäÿò áóä??ùèå ðîäèòåëè. Åñëè àãåíòñòâî ñ÷èòàåò, ÷òî îáðàòèâøèåñÿ ìîãóò ñòàòü óñûíîâèòåëÿìè, äîêóìåíòû ïåðåäàþòñÿ â ýìèãðàöèîííóþ ñëóæáó. Òàì ñ íèìè ðàáîòàþò â òå÷åíèå 3–õ ìåñÿöåâ.  ýòî âðåìÿ êàíäèäàòîâ â óñûíîâèòåëè ïðîâåðÿþò ÷åðåç ÔÁÐ è äðóãèå ñïåö. ñëóæáû íà íàëè÷èå êðèìèíàëüíûõ èñòîðèé, ïñèõè÷åñêèõ îòêëîíåíèé è ïð. Åñëè îáíàðóæèâàåòñÿ, ÷òî ÷òî-òî áûëî, à êàíäèäàò íå ñîîáùèë îá ýòîì, åìó îòêàçûâàåòñÿ ðàç è íàâñåãäà. Êîãäà ýìèãðàöèîííàÿ ñëóæáà äàåò äîáðî, áóäóùèì ðîäèòåëÿì ïîäáèðàþò ðåáåíêà. Îíè ìîãóò òîëüêî â îáùèõ ÷åðòàõ âûñêàçàòü ñâîè ïîæåëàíèÿ: ïîë, âîçðàñò, èíîãäà äîïóñòèìàÿ ñòåïåíü îòêëîíåíèé â çäîðîâüå. Íî ÷àñòî áåðóò ëþáûõ äåòåé, ìîòèâèðóÿ òåì, ÷òî êîãäà ðåáåíîê â óòðîáå, âåäü íå çíàåøü, ÷åì îí áîëååò, òàê ïî÷åìó ýòî íóæíî çíàòü çäåñü… Çàòåì åäóò çíàêîìèòüñÿ ñ ðåáåíêîì, ïîòîì âîçâðàùàþòñÿ äîìîé, ïîêà ïðîõîäèò ïðîöåäóðà îôîðìëåíèÿ äîêóìåíòîâ ñ íàøåé ñòîðîíû. È åùå ðàç â Ðîññèþ – çà ðåáåíêîì! Òóò íàäî îòìåòèòü, ñ ÷åì ÷àñòåíüêî ïðèõîäèòñÿ ñòàëêèâàòüñÿ óñûíîâèòåëÿì íà íàøåé ñòîðîíå. Îíè àáñîëþòíî ãîòîâû ê áþðîêðàòèçìó – ýòî íîðìàëüíî. Îíè ãîòîâû ê òîìó óáîãîìó óðîâíþ ñåðâèñà, êîòîðûé èõ çäåñü æäåò çà ïðèëè÷íûå, íàäî ñêàçàòü, äåíüãè – ýòî òåðïèìî. Íî ÷åãî îíè îæèäàþò ìåíüøå âñåãî – òàê ýòî íàøåãî «ïàòðèîòèçìà» è áûòóþùèõ ó íàñ ñòðàøèëîê ïðî ïåðåñàäêó îðãàíîâ. Âåðíåå, òàêèõ ïîäðîáíîñòåé îíè äàæå íå çíàþò. À íåäîáðîæåëàòåëüíîñòü è ïðåçðèòåëüíûå âçãëÿäû îòíîñÿò ê îñîáåííîñòÿì íàöèîíàëüíîãî õàðàêòåðà. Îñîáåííî ýòîò ìîìåíò îáîñòðèëñÿ ñ ñîáûòèÿìè â Èðàêå. Òåïåðü ìû èõ íå ëþáèì âäâîéíå! È çà ýòî: îíè ïðèåçæàþò, à êàêîé-íèáóäü îñîáî ïàòðèîòè÷åñêè-íàñòðîåííûé ðàáîòíèê ðàéîííîãî îòäåëà îïåêè è ïîïå÷èòåëüñòâà ê ñàìîìó ïðèåçäó óñïåë ðàçûñêàòü ìàòü – àëêîãîëè÷êó, èëè äåäóøêó ñ áàáóøêîé òîæå ïüþùèõ è óãîâîðèòü çàáðàòü ðåáåíî÷êà, ÷òîá «âðàãàì» íå äîñòàëñÿ. Áûâàåò òàêîå, ê ñîæàëåíèþ, è íå ðåäêî. È ìíå, êàê ðóññêîìó ÷åëîâåêó, êîòîðûé Ðîññèþ ëþáèò, î÷åíü æàëü, ÷òî óáîãîñòü ýòó îòíîñÿò ê íàöèîíàëüíûì îñîáåííîñòÿì ðóññêîé äóøè.
Êîãäà ïîñëåäíåå èñïûòàíèå ïðîéäåíî è äåòè äîìà, íà÷èíàåòñÿ ñëåäóþùèé ýòàï, êîòîðûé íàçûâàåòñÿ ïðîñòî æèçíü. È âîò òóò-òî ñîâåðøàþòñÿ íàñòîÿùèå ÷óäåñà.
×óäåñà, êîòîðûå òâîðèò ëþáîâü.
Åæåãîäíî àãåíòñòâà ïî óñûíîâëåíèþ ïðîâîäÿò òðàäèöèîííûå ïèêíèêè. Ïèêíèê – ýòî òàêîå ìåðîïðèÿòèå, êîòîðîå ïðîõîäèò îáû÷íî íà ïðèðîäå â âûõîäíîé äåíü, è íà íåãî ñúåçæàþòñÿ ñåìüè, â ðàçíîå âðåìÿ óñûíîâèâøèå äåòåé èç ðàçíûõ ñòðàí. Îò 400 äî 500 ÷åëîâåê. Ýòî ñâîåãî ðîäà êëóá. Äåòÿì èíòåðåñíî ïîáûòü âìåñòå, ðîäèòåëÿì ïîîáùàòüñÿ, ïîäåëèòüñÿ ïðîáëåìàìè è íàõîäêàìè, ðàáîòíèêàì àãåíòñòâ óâèäåòü òåõ è äðóãèõ, à òàêæå äðóã äðóãà, ïîòîìó ÷òî ðàáîòàþò îíè â ðàçëè÷íûõ ïðåäñòàâèòåëüñòâàõ, ïî òåëåôîíó êîíòàêòèðóþò ïîñòîÿííî, à âîò íåïîñðåäñòâåííî óâèäåòüñÿ, îáíÿòüñÿ, ïîæàòü äðóã äðóãó ðóêó ìîæíî èìåííî íà ïèêíèêå. Ïèêíèê – ýòî ïðàçäíèê. Âî âðåìÿ ïîåçäêè ìû ïîáûâàëè íà äâóõ ïèêíèêàõ, êîòîðûå ïðîâîäèëî àãåíòñòâî MAPS â øòàòå Ìýéí è â ×èêàãî. Êîãäà íàñ ïðåäñòàâèëè ñîáðàâøèìñÿ, êàê æóðíàëèñòîâ, ïðèåõàâøèõ èç Ðîññèè, ìû ñòàëè, ñàìûìè ïîïóëÿðíûìè ïåðñîíàìè íà ïèêíèêå. Ê íàì ïîäõîäèëè ëþäè, êîòîðûå õîòåëè ðàññêàçàòü ñâîè èñòîðèè, íàñ çíàêîìèëè ñ äåòüìè, ïðîñèëè ðàññêàçàòü î Ðîññèè. Ìû çàïèñûâàëè ðàññêàçû, êîòîðûå íå ìîãëè îñòàâèòü ðàâíîäóøíûì äàæå ñàìîå ÷åðñòâîå ñåðäöå.
Èñòîðèÿ ¹1 ïðî Íèíó.
Ðàññêàçûâàåò ìàìà, Íèíà ñèäèò ðÿäîì è èíîãäà âñòàâëÿåò íåêîòîðûå çàìå÷àíèÿ, íàïðèìåð, ÷òî ðàíüøå åå ôàìèëèÿ áûëà Âíîãðàäîâà
«Êîãäà ìû çàáèðàëè Íèíó èç Ëþáåðåöêîãî äîìà ðåáåíêà, åé áûëî óæå îêîëî äâóõ ëåò. Îíà íå ìîãëà íè õîäèòü, íè ãîâîðèòü. Ó äåâî÷êè áûë äèàãíîç – äåòñêèé öåðåáðàëüíûé ïàðàëè÷. Ñðàçó ïî ïðèåçäå åé ñòàëè ïðîâîäèòü ôèçèîòåðàïèþ è íà÷àëè çàíÿòèÿ ñ ëîãîïåäîì. Ìû ñ ìóæåì ðåøèëè, ÷òî äîëæíû áîðîòüñÿ çà ýòîãî ðåáåíêà. Íàñòîé÷èâî ïðîâîäèëè ëå÷åíèå è ñî âðåìåíåì åé íàëîæèëè ãèïñ íà îáå íîæêè. À ÷åðåç íåêîòîðîå âðåìÿ îíà íà÷àëà õîäèòü. Ñåé÷àñ Íèíà äîëæíà íîñèòü ñïåöèàëüíûå îðòîïåäè÷åñêèå áðàñëåòû íà íîãàõ, ÷òîáû õîäèòü è äàæå áåãàòü. È ìû î÷åíü ñ÷àñòëèâû, ÷òî åå óñûíîâèëè, ïîòîìó ÷òî ýòî íåâåðîÿòíî óìíûé ðåáåíîê. Îíà ãîðäèòñÿ òåì, ÷òî îíà – ðóññêàÿ. È êîãäà îíà ñ êåì-òî çíàêîìèòñÿ, òî îáÿçàòåëüíî ãîâîðèò, ÷òî îíà èç Ðîññèè è èìÿ Íèíà – ðóññêîå èìÿ.
Êîãäà ìû óñûíîâëÿëè Íèíó, â äîìå ðåáåíêà íàì ñêàçàëè, ÷òîáû ìû íå áðàëè ýòó ðåáåíêà, ïîòîìó ÷òî ó íåãî íåò áóäóùåãî, à ñåé÷àñ äåâî÷êà èãðàåò â øàõìàòû. Îíà ñòàëà ïðèçåðîì ìíîãèõ ñîðåâíîâàíèé, è ãðîññìåéñòåð èç Ðîññèè Äìèòðèé Ãóðåâè÷ ðåøèë çàíèìàòüñÿ ñ íåé èíäèâèäóàëüíî è äàæå áåñïëàòíî, ïîòîìó ÷òî îíà î÷åíü ïåðñïåêòèâíûé èãðîê è ìîæåò äîñòè÷ü áîëüøèõ óñïåõîâ».
Èñòîðèÿ ¹2 ïðî Ýðèí.
Ðàññêàçûâàþò ìàìà è ïàïà, à ðûæåâîëîñàÿ òðèíàäöàòèëåòíÿÿ Ýðèí óëûáàåòñÿ âî âåñü ðîò.
"Ìû óñûíîâèëè Ýðèí, êîãäà åé áûëî 20 ìåñÿöåâ. Îíà âåñèëà 6 êèëîãðàììîâ. Íàì ñêàçàëè, ÷òî ó íåå äèàãíîç îëèãîôðåíèÿ, ÷òî îíà íèêîãäà íå áóäåò ãîâîðèòü. Îíà è ïðàâäà òîãäà íå ìîãëà íè ñèäåòü, íè ãîâîðèòü. Íî, òåì íå ìåíåå, ìû ðåøèëè, ÷òî äîëæíû âçÿòü åå. È òåïåðü âû âèäèòå ïåðåä ñîáîé ïðåêðàñíóþ äåâî÷êó, êîòîðàÿ çàìå÷àòåëüíî òàíöóåò, è èãðàåò íà ôëåéòå. Ìû ñ÷àñòëèâû, ÷òî ó íàñ òàêàÿ äî÷êà. Ðàçíèöà ìåæäó òåì, ÷òî áûëî è òåì, ÷òî ñåé÷àñ ïðîñòî óäèâèòåëüíàÿ. Êîãäà ìû åå âçÿëè, äåâî÷êà î÷åíü áîÿëàñü âîäû, à òåïåðü îíà ëó÷øèé ïëîâåö â ñâîåé øêîëå".

Èñòîðèÿ ¹3 ïðî Àçèçó
Äåâî÷êà íà ðóêàõ ó ìàìû, êîòîðàÿ ðàññêàçûâàåò íàì ïðî íåå, à â ïåðåðûâàõ, êîãäà èäåò ïåðåâîä, öåëóåò è öåëóåò äåâî÷êó.
"ß õî÷ó ñêàçàòü, ÷òî ìíå î÷åíü ïîâåçëî, ÷òî ìíå äîñòàëñÿ òàêîé âåëèêîëåïíûé, ïðåêðàñíûé ðåáåíîê. Îíà î÷åíü óìíàÿ, î÷åíü êðàñèâàÿ, î÷åíü îäàðåííàÿ, î÷åíü àðòèñòè÷íàÿ è ÿ áëàãîäàðíà çà òî, ÷òî ó ìåíÿ òàêàÿ äî÷ü".

Èñòîðèÿ ¹4 ïðî Çèíó.
Ìàìà è ïàïà ðàññêàçûâàþò íàì ñâîþ èñòîðèþ, à Çèíà îñåäëàëà ñòàðøåãî áðàòà, êîòîðûé íåñêîëüêî ëåò íàçàä åçäèë âìåñòå ñ ðîäèòåëÿìè çà íåé â Ðîññèþ.
"Êîãäà ìû â ïåðâûé ðàç åå óâèäåëè, îíà áûëà î÷åíü çàêðûòàÿ è íåîáùèòåëüíàÿ.  äîìå ðåáåíêà áûëè äåòè â âîçðàñòå äî 2 ëåò è ñòàðøå äåòåé, îíà íå âèäåëà. Ïîýòîìó, óâèäåâ Íèêîëàñà, êîòîðîìó òîãäà áûëî óæå 7, îíà ïîòÿíóëà ê íåìó ðó÷êè è çàñìåÿëàñü. Îí ñðàçó ïðèçíàë åå. Òåïåðü îíè ñàìûå ëó÷øèå äðóçüÿ".
Òðè àãåíòñòâà. Ëþäè è ñóäüáû.
Ìû ïîáûâàëè â ÷åòûðåõ øòàòàõ è ïîçíàêîìèëèñü ñ ðàáîòíèêàìè òðåõ ðàçëè÷íûõ àãåíòñòâ ïî óñûíîâëåíèþ. Ìû ïîñåùàëè ñåìüè, ðàçãîâàðèâàëè ñ ïðåäñòàâèòåëÿìè âëàñòè. Íàäî ñêàçàòü, ÷òî àãåíòñòâà ïî óñûíîâëåíèþ – ýòî íå êîììåð÷åñêèå îðãàíèçàöèè, ó íèõ íåò è íå äîëæíî áûòü ïðèáûëè. Òàì ðàáîòàþò â îñíîâíîì æåíùèíû. Ïî êðàéíåé ìåðå, âîçãëàâëÿþò àãåíòñòâà æåíùèíû. Ñîâïàäåíèå ýòî èëè çàêîíîìåðíîñòü, íî âñå òðè ïðåäñòàâèòåëüíèöû ïðåêðàñíîé ïîëîâèíû ÷åëîâå÷åñòâà ñàìè ÿâëÿþòñÿ ðîäèòåëÿìè óñûíîâëåííûõ äåòåé. Äîííà è åå ìóæ Õåíê (àãåíòñòâî MAPS) â ðàçíîå âðåìÿ óñûíîâèëè 9 äåòåé ñî âñåãî ñâåòà, Âèêè - äèðåêòîð àãåíòñòâà WHFC âûðàñòèëà äâóõ áèîëîãè÷åñêèõ ñûíîâåé è äåâî÷êó èç Êèòàÿ, Ìàðèíà – íàøà áûâøàÿ ñîîòå÷åñòâåííèöà (àãåíòñòâî CAI, øòàò Àðèçîíà) äâà ãîäà íàçàä óñûíîâèëà äåâî÷êó èç Åêàòåðèíáóðãà. Ó êàæäîãî ðàáîòíèêà íàä ñòîëîì áîëüøîé ñòåíä ñ ôîòîãðàôèÿìè äåòåé – ýòî èõ äåòè, äåòè, êîòîðûì îíè íàøëè ðîäèòåëåé. Ó íåêîòîðûõ ôîòîãðàôèè ïðèêðåïëåíû â íåñêîëüêî ñëîåâ. Ëèöà, ëèöà, ëèöà… ×åðíûå, áåëûå, æåëòûå âåñåëûå è íå î÷åíü, ñîâñåì ìàëåíüêèå è ïîñòàðøå. Ìíîãî ðàçíûõ. Îíè âñåõ ïîìíÿò, âñåõ çíàþò, ñî âñåìè ïîääåðæèâàþò îòíîøåíèÿ. Òðè ãîäà îáÿçàòåëüíî è ïî çàêîíó, à äàëüøå êàê ñëîæèòñÿ. Íåêîòîðûå äðóæàò âñþ æèçíü. Êóëüòóðå óñûíîâëåíèÿ â ÑØÀ óæå 100 ëåò. Ýòî îñîáàÿ óäèâèòåëüíàÿ êóëüòóðà, äëÿ êîòîðîé íåò ãðàíèö, äëÿ êîòîðîé çåìíîé øàð – î÷åíü ìàëåíüêèé è íà íåì êàæäûé ðåáåíîê èìååò ïðàâî íà ñ÷àñòëèâóþ æèçíü. È êàêàÿ ðàçíèöà, â êàêîì ìåñòå íà Çåìëå åãî áóäóò ëþáèòü, ãëàâíîå, ÷òîáû ëþáèëè.  êîíöå êîíöîâ, èìåííî ýòî íåîáõîäèìîå óñëîâèå äëÿ ñ÷àñòüÿ.
È åùå ðàç î ñòðàøèëêàõ è ïàòðèîòèçìå.
Êñòàòè, ìû áûëè â ÷åòûðåõ ðàçíûõ øòàòàõ, â òðåõ èç íèõ ïîëèòèêó Áóøà ðåçêî îñóæäàþò, à â îäíîì ïîääåðæèâàþò.  îáùåì-òî, àìåðèêàíöû – îíè òîæå âñå ðàçíûå.
Íó, à íàøè ñêàçêè ïðî «îðãàíû», âûçûâàëè ó íèõ ïðîñòî íåäîóìåíèå è óæàñ. Èñòîðèÿ ýòà íå âûäåðæèâàåò íèêàêîé êðèòèêè, íî, íåñìîòðÿ íà î÷åâèäíóþ àáñóðäíîñòü ïî÷åìó-òî æèâåò. Ïîýòîìó âñåãî ëèøü äâà àðãóìåíòà.
Àðãóìåíò 1. Íå òîëüêî â Àìåðèêå, íî è âî âñåì ìèðå íèêîìó íå íóæíû äåòñêèå îðãàíû. Îíè íåçðåëûå è ÷àùå âñåãî áîëüíûå. Ïîòîìó ÷òî ðîäèòåëè, êîòîðûå îñòàâëÿþò ðîäíûõ äåòåé, íå î÷åíü çàáîòÿòñÿ î çäîðîâüå ñâîåãî ïîòîìñòâà. Ïîïðîñòó ãîâîðÿ, ïüþò, êàê ñàïîæíèêè. À ýòî î÷åíü âðåäíî.
Àðãóìåíò 2. Äëÿ òîãî, ÷òîáû ïðîâåñòè îïåðàöèþ ïî ïåðåñàäêå îðãàíîâ â Àìåðèêå íåîáõîäèìî çàêëþ÷åíèå 14 íåçàâèñèìûõ âðà÷åé. Äëÿ òîãî, ÷òîáû ïîëó÷èòü ïðîôåññèþ âðà÷à â Àìåðèêå, íóæíî 9 ëåò ó÷èòüñÿ è çàïëàòèòü êó÷ó äåíåã. Ýòî îäíî èç ñàìûõ äîðîãèõ îáðàçîâàíèé. Ðàáîòà äîêòîðà âûñîêîîïëà÷èâàåìàÿ. Ýòè ëþäè ìîãóò ñåáå ïîçâîëèòü íå òîëüêî ïðåêðàñíûé äîì è ìàøèíó, íî è ñàìîëåò ñ ÿõòîé. Òàê âîò, íè îäèí íîðìàëüíûé ÷åëîâåê íå ïîñòàâèò íà êàðòó, òàê íåëåãêî äîñòàâøóþñÿ åìó ïðîôåññèþ, êîòîðàÿ äàåò âîçìîæíîñòü äîâîëüíî âûñîêîãî óðîâíÿ æèçíè, íè îäèí. Òàê, ãäå æå âçÿòü 14, ãîòîâûõ ïîòåðÿòü âñå?